Conspiracy
by Therese Delacoeur
Summary: SxS and TxE fun! What happens when Spinel Sun and Ruby Moon take it into their own heads to, um, hurry along Syaoran's and Sakura's relationship? Poor Eriol gets caught up in the madness! Chapter 4 up. Please enjoy! R
1. Conspiracy: The Beginning

**I wrote this a while ago. I hope y'all enjoy! Just for fun. :)**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN CCS! …Please don't sue.**

_Conspiracy: The Beginning_

"This is downright stupid."

"I know."

"I mean, really! How many blushing beauty sequences does Syao-Syao have to go through before she gets it through her _thick skull_ that he likes her?!"

"I know, and did you just call my descendant a blushing beauty?"

"Yes. Got a problem with that?"

"Yes, actually. My dear Ruby-san, I am - and therefore my descendants are - much more than mere 'beauties.' That's practically an insult. Not to mention that particular phrase is positively ancient. People don't use it anymore. I certainly don't."

"Oh ho, Eriol-kun, you're saying that you're _not_ old as sin?"

"Not at all; merely that I've caught up with the times."

"…or have _they_ caught up with _you_?"

"That's quite enough lip. Let's get back to the main problem, shall we?"

"Problem? Please. Hardly."

"But I thought that you –"

"My dear Eriol-kun, you think entirely too much."

"Thank you."

"Hmph. In any case, don't fret your little head about it. Suppi-chan and I have it all under control."

"…Oh dear."

"ERIOL-KUN!"


	2. Conspiracy: Planning

**A/N: Spinel's a male and Ruby's a female for this fic. I know this isn't really canon, but… Oh well. It's too complicated to explain quickly otherwise.**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN CCS! … Please don't sue.**

_Conspiracy: Planning_

Spinel'd seen quite a few harebrained schemes in his day, due to the very fact that he'd seen quite a few of them. _Days_, he added quickly to the running dialogue in his head. _I've seen quite a few _days, _not_ them. The antecedent for the pronoun had been unclear otherwise, and there was nothing like an unclear antecedent to spin Spinel Sun into a tizzy.

Spinel preened for a moment from his literary success before tiptoeing delicately across a room (actually Ruby's room) that looked like the contents of every closet in the house had regurgitated on the floor. Floss was draped around the posts of the bed like a gossamer, minty curtain and toilet paper hung in streamers from the ceiling, apparently stuck there by wads of chewing gum. Cardboard hearts were stacked in piles and strewn on the carpet to create an archipelago of love on a fiber sea. Candy wrappers were thrown everywhere but the wastebasket. Candles were lit – scented and unscented, pot candles, candlesticks, candelabras, flames flickered throughout the room. Various perfumes made an atmosphere similar to LA smog. Spinel coughed delicately.

Ruby's head snapped up. She'd been sitting in the middle of the chaos of paper and cardboard, fiddling with a CD player in her lap, but she let it drop to grin at her fellow guardian. "Hello, Suppie-chan! Come to help with Operation Get-Sakura-Chan-To-See-What's-Right-In-Front-Of-Her-Nose?"

"Catchy title," Spinel commented dryly. He picked his way around a pool of wax that was dripping on the carpet and gracefully leapt up to the dusty windowsill.

"Thanks!" Ruby smiled brightly. Spinel rolled his eyes. His comments always went right over Ruby's head.

"So what's all this for?" Spinel motioned vaguely with one paw.

It was Ruby's turn to roll her eyes. "The Hook-Up. Duh."

Spinel snorted. "You've got to be kidding. Hearts, I understand. But _toilet paper?_ _Dental floss?!_ What in the world are you thinking?"

Ruby became smug. "That's for me to know and for you to find out."

"Oh?" Spinel raised one eyebrow. "I thought I was in on the Operation Blah-Blah-Sakura-Blah-Blah."

"Nope. I just un-invited you."

"'Uninvited'? And we're turning _how_ old this year?"

"Um, well, uh, let's see…"

"Never mind. I'll just do it myself, then." And Spinel Sun floated out of the room, swerving around the toilet paper.

Ruby breathed a sigh of relief and continued doodling on her paper hearts with the crayons she'd found in a side closet downstairs. Suppie-chan was _not_ going to ruin her fun!

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

Ruby Moon transformed before dawn the next morning into her true form, wiggling her wings with a sigh. They disappeared while she was human, but they always felt cramped and stiff for the first few minutes or so after she'd dropped her human disguise, as if they'd been folded very tightly and tucked into a cramp corner for a few years. She gathered up her sack of equipment (including dental floss) and fluttered her wings. She rose into the predawn air and flew towards Tomoeda High, where… Ruby giggled. Well. They'd just have to wait and see.

Quickly, she zoomed into the courtyard of her high school and flitted over the fence separating her school from the elementary school, where her targets would be at 0800 hours today. (Military time… Ruby giggled again. This was like professionals were doing it…!)

She used just a touch of magic to unlock a side door into the gymnasium and a flick of her fingers disabled the school's security system. She tiptoed into the girls' locker room first. Now which one was…? Ah. There it was! Ruby could sense the residual power that lingered on Sakura's locker. It appeared to glow slightly in the dark. Sakura must've kept old outfits (and weren't they just_ kawaii_?! Ruby squealed silently in her head) in this locker. Carefully, Ruby extracted a pink heart card, sprayed it with some cologne she'd snuck from Eriol-kun's washroom, and slipped it in between the ventilation slots in Sakura's locker.

She listened for a moment as the paper slid against the metal door, and grinned. Now Sakura would see (and smell!) the card she'd assume was from Syaoran, and she'd _have_ to realize that he loved her! It was just too perfect!

She wouldn't get to use her floss, though… Ruby pouted briefly, then cheered. Oh well! Life wasn't perfect, and at least she'd have played Cupid well enough to get those two cuties to get together! Before a janitor could see her, she darted out of the locker room and flew over the fence to arrive at her school just in time to glomp Touya-chan, who was arriving at school with Yukito-san just then. And he didn't even throw her off today! She smiled smugly as Touya wearily trudged up the stairs with her hanging off his back. She _knew_ today was going to be a good day!

o.O.o.O.o.O.o.

"Ruby Moon!"

Crashes on the stairs could be heard. Ruby poked her head around the corner, her hair a little frazzled from her slight tumble.

"Yes, Eriol-kun?"

"You didn't happen to start work on Sakura-san and Syaoran-san today, did you?"

Ruby skipped into the room and clapped her hands. "Yes! And you won't believe what I did! I –"

"Slipped a card into Sakura-san's locker, neh?"

Ruby stared at her master. "How did you know?!"

Eriol sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Because it wasn't Sakura's locker you put that card in. It was Daidouji-san's locker."

Ruby shrugged, unruffled. "So? I'll just correct the error tomorrow."

He sighed again. "Ruby, Daidouji-san now thinks she has a secret admirer. Who's not so secret, seeing as a very distinctive _and expensive_" Ruby wilted under Eriol's glare "cologne was sprayed all over the paper."

Ruby pursed her lips, hard in thought. "So…" she said finally, "Tomoyo-chan thinks that…" Her eyes brightened. "That _you're_ her secret admirer?" She giggled. "Oh, this is too perfect!"

"This is _not_ perfect!" Eriol snapped. "I spent half of lunch avoiding Daidouji-san's eyes and couldn't eat! She's been staring at me all day like I was going to eat her! You've gotten me into quite the mess, Ruby-san."

Ruby rolled her eyes. "Don't worry, Eriol-kun, I'll fix this, okay?" She waved and bounced back up the stairs. "Everything'll be alright, I promise!"

"Wait –" But it was too late; Ruby'd already disappeared. Eriol sighed again and turned to Spinel Sun, who was lounging in his favorite window sill and lazily flipping the pages of the newspaper. "Spinel-san, would you keep an eye on Ruby-san for me?"

Spinel carefully closed the paper and floated towards the stairs. "If you insist, Eriol-sama…"

"I do," Eriol replied with a little more force than necessary. Spinel didn't reply. Instead, he quickened his pace and disappeared to find Ruby, leaving his master alone in the living room.

"So she doesn't do me any more favors…" Eriol murmured to himself. He spent the rest of the afternoon writing letters and trying not to think about how Daido – _Tomoyo-chan's_ eyes hadn't left his face all day, how she'd blushed slightly on the rare occasion when he _couldn't_ avoid her gaze, how his heart had sped up whenever she'd glanced at him…

He sighed again. _Definitely_ had to keep Ruby Moon from doing him anymore favors. Life was complicated enough trying to deal with his feelings for Tomoyo-chan without her sensing them. The priority was Syaoran and Sakura – they _had_ to realize their connection before he left for home.

They had to.


	3. Conspiracy: Writing

**A/N: Okay, I know that if Ruby were to actually write poetry, it would be in Japanese, not English. I'm sure there's a whole different set of problems that accompany Japanese rhyme and whatnot; however, since I don't speak Japanese, she's writing the poems in English. Thanks in advance for being understanding! **

**The poems – and they're really hideous, I must admit – are 100 Therese original. Please enjoy their clichéd idiocy!**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN CCS! … Please don't sue.**

_Conspiracy: Writing_

Alright, so Plan A hadn't gone so well. Ruby giggled. Oh well. That had been the easiest plan, anyway, and didn't some smart guy say that nothing worth doing was easy (or something like that)? On to Plan B!

oOoOoOoOoOo

Spinel Sun drifted into Ruby's room. Thankfully, she'd tidied up a bit: there was no more impromptu streamers dangling about the place, though the candles were still scattered everywhere.

Ruby didn't see Spinel enter the room. Her back was hunched over her little-used desk, and Spinel could see her pen waving frantically in her hand. His curiosity aroused despite himself, Spinel floated towards the girl until he was practically perched in her hair. "What're you writing?" He peered nearsightedly at the paper on the table.

Ruby yelped and jumped in her seat, dislodging Spinel's light grip on her head. "Suppie-chan, you scared me!"

Spinel couldn't help it. He snorted. "Some powers you have, if you couldn't even sense me coming in!"

Ruby pouted. "You know my powers are all messed up when I'm human! Don't be mean or I'll force feed you chocolate."

"You wouldn't dare." When Ruby opened her mouth to argue, Spinel quickly cut her off. "Really, though, what are you doing? I'm supposed to help you with Operation Sakura's-Being-Suspiciously-Obtuse-About-Seeing-The-Obvious-Infatuation-Of-Awkward-Young-Men, remember?"

"It's Operation Get-Sakura-To-See-What's-Right-Before-Her-Eyes!" Ruby huffed.

"No, that's not the right name, either."

"Well, if you knew what the name was, then why did you say it wrong?"

"To annoy you, my dear. And it's working marvelously."

"Well, then, if all you're going to do is bug me, then you can go away and leave me alone so I can actually get this done for tomorrow's paper!" Ruby turned her back on the flying stuffed animal and hunched over her chicken-scratch handwriting, pretending to ignore Spinel Sun's continued presence in her room.

Things were quiet for a little while. Then:

"That rhyme doesn't work."

"It does so! Look, they both have the same ending!"

"But it doesn't sound the same when you say it out loud. It makes it awkward."

"If you say 'again' with the long 'a' instead of a short 'a', it'll totally rhyme with 'rain'."

"But people don't say it with the long 'a'. They say it with the short 'a'; therefore, the construction is awkward."

"I would say it with the long 'a'."

"But you won't be the one reading this, will you?"

"Yeah, I will! I read everything I publish in the newspaper. I am the editor, after all."

"…You read everything? Even the politics section?"

"…"

"Ruby-san…?"

"Okay, not the politics section, but no one reads that!"

"I read the politics section."

"See? No one reads it."

"Whatever, Ruby-san…"

"Did you just say 'whatever'?"

"Just write!"

"Hai."

oOoOoOoOoOo

"Oh, Ruby-san?"

Ruby stopped her wild dash to the front door and turned to face Eriol. He was just climbing down the steps from his second-story room, still dressed in a dark blue dressing robe that exactly matched his hair. "Hai, Eriol-kun?"

"You are still working on your, ah, _assignment_, aren't you?"

Ruby grinned. "Of course, Eriol-kun! Oh, this'll work, I promise."

Eriol looked faintly worried. "I'm sure… And Spinel-san helped you this time?"

"Hai!"

Eriol sighed. "Well, if Spinel-san approved this, I suppose it'll be okay."

"Don't worry!" And with a final wave, Ruby dashed out of the door, leaving Eriol on the final step.

"I should feel relieved," Eriol commented to the empty air. "But somehow, I don't."

Ruby opened the gate at the end of the walkway and began to sprint towards the school. Spinel Sun flew beside her. "You know, he's not going to like that second poem of yours," he pointed out.

Ruby grinned. "I know. But it'll be good for him! You'll see."

oOoOoOoOoOo

Ruby dashed into the chaotic student newspaper classroom, clutching two wrinkled pieces of paper. "Hold the presses!"

"But Moon-san, we just finished the final layout!" protested one underclassman.

Ruby glared at protester, and he wilted. "I don't care. This is an emergency!"

"She said that last issue, too," murmured the sports editor to the film critic.

Ruby heard her. "And that article on the harmful killing of innocent silkworms for material gain needed to be published! Are there any other protests? No? Good." She tossed the papers at some poor lackey. "Get these up in the editorial section, ASAP."

The young man who she'd given the papers to scanned the contents quickly. "Moon-san, are you sure you want to publish these? I mean, they're not even all that good-" He gulped at the death stare Ruby was giving him. "-Hai. I'll get right on it, ma'am."

oOoOoOoOoOo

"Sakura-chan, did you see the newspaper?!"

"Eh? Uh, no… Should I?"

"Hai! There's a special note in it to you in the editorial section!"

"Nani?! To me?! … Oh, look, Tomoyo-chan, there's one to you, too!"

"Really? I must've been too excited at seeing yours to have seen that one before…!"

Syaoran happened to be walking by and overheard their rather loud and animated conversation. "Ohaiyo, Daidouji-san…Sakura-kun…What're you looking at?"

Tomoyo looked up from her paper with stars in your eyes. "Oh, Li-kun, this is so sweet! I never knew that you had it in you!"

"Nani? What're you talking about?" Tomoyo beamed and handed him the paper. His eyes briefly scanned the page before landing on an article titled "To My Cherry Blossom".

"Oh, Kami-sama," Syaoran breathed as he read the 'poem' with ever increasing horror.

_**To My Cherry Blossom**_

_**How do I love thee?**_

_**Let me count the ways:**_

_**One, because you make me**_

_**Wish to be by you always.**_

_**Two, because your cute smile**_

_**Makes me turn bright red**_

_**And Three, because I'd walk miles**_

_**To see your auburn head.**_

_**I wish you could see me for me**_

_**And the way I love you:**_

_**The way I can't talk with thee**_

_**Or hold my breath until I'm blue**_

_**When I'm around you.**_

_**Our missions together are over, it's true:**_

_**But it won't ever change how I feel about you.**_

_**From: Your Secret Admirer (Who's Closer Than You Think )**_

Tomoyo looked at Syaoran's face and then back at the paper. "Well, it _is_ from you, isn't it?" She lowered her voice with a quick glance at Sakura, but she was still preoccupied reading the paper and turning redder by the second. "I mean, the 'missions together' and the 'way I can't talk with thee' – though really, Li-kun" Tomoyo wrinkled her nose "the second 'thee' was a little much, don't you think?"

Syaoran gasped for air, and rasped, "I didn't write this!"

Tomoyo rolled her eyes. "Really, Li-kun, you don't have to lie to me. I know how you feel about Sakura!"

"S-sure, but I didn't write this trash!" He smacked the paper with his free hand, fuming at the obvious overtures to him in the poem but madder still that he didn't think of this first. He looked at the paper a second time and noticed another headline. Syaoran smirked, feeling a tad bit better. "Not that _your_ secret admirer did much better with his poem, Daidouji-san!"

"My…Oh!"

_**To My Raven-Haired Temptress**_

_**Your hair's like the ocean waves at sea,**_

_**And your eyes shine like twenty-seven moonbeams**_

_**Your lips kiss like heaven (or so I've dreamed)**_

_**And your hands are long and graceful, like ice cream.**_

_**I waited outside your window in vain,**_

_**Getting all wet from the pouring rain,**_

_**To see you just once, to see you again**_

_**Because I love you.**_

_**From: Your Secret Admirer**_

"'Hands like ice cream'?" Syaoran snickered.

Tomoyo snatched the paper back, turning beet red. "It's hard to rhyme, and at least they tried, and, well, let's go, Sakura-chan!" She grabbed Sakura's arm and raced down the hallway, trying to outrun Syaoran's mocking laughter.

oOoOoOoOoOo

Eriol smacked his forehead.

"Crap."


	4. Conspiracy: Phone Calls

A/N: I'll probably be rewriting the poetry from _Conspiracy: Writing_ just because it's making me mad that that was the best I could do last night. Be prepared for something soon!

In the meantime, also prepare for some interesting Valentine's Day stories about my friends to be related through my dear Ruby-chan. (I am SO happy none of my IRL friends read my fics; otherwise, they'd kill me in the most grotesque way imaginable – and my friends have quite the imagination.)

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN CCS! … Please don't sue.**

Conspiracy: Phone Calls 

Eriol didn't even wait until school was over to find Ruby to discuss – and by _discuss_, Eriol actually meant "rip Ruby to shreds" – the Poetry Fiasco. Those poor girls, innocent victims of Ruby's 'evil' plotting! Though, in all fairness, he _had_ told Ruby to get them together. Now, he was questioning the intelligence of that particular order.

Ruby sensed Eriol behind her in the lunch line, but determinedly ignored him. Well, she giggled a little, but that was all.

Eriol waited until he had paid for his lunch from the rather confused lunch lady (Why was an elementary schooler buying lunch in the high school cafeteria? Or wait, maybe he was just abnormally small for his age, yes, that must be it, he was too confident to be a little kid…) before he walked up to Ruby.

"We need to talk," he murmured pleasantly to Ruby's back.

Ruby heard him and shivered a little bit at his 'pleasant' tone. Eriol was only ever that 'pleasant' when he was really, really, _really_ mad. She caught Spinel Sun's smirk from her open purse and stuck her tongue out at him.

"It's not like _you're_ not going to get it, too!" she hissed at her partner-in-crime.

"Yes, but _I'm_ not the one who wrote 'Your hands are like ice cream' about the master's lady-love!"

Ruby sighed, remembering her 'poem'. "That was an adorable line, wasn't it?"

Eriol interrupted whatever response Spinel would've made by gripping Ruby's arm with a hold like handcuffs. "This way, my dear."

Ruby winced. "Not so hard!" she whined.

Eriol's only response was to tighten his hold. Ruby could hear Spinel Sun's snickering as he steered her out of the cafeteria towards the cluster of decorative cherry trees on the school grounds that would provide a more private venue for Eriol's inevitable rant than the crowded cafeteria.

OOoOoOoOoOo

"…And that's the _last_ time I want that to happen, Ruby-san!" Eriol finished. He looked at Ruby, who was the very paragon of attentive listening. Spinel Sun had tried to sneak away halfway through Eriol's tirade to find something to eat, but Eriol had pinned him with an "Eriol glare of Doom", as Ruby called those oh-so-special Eriol looks. Spinel was now sulking in one of the lowest tree branches, half hidden by cherry blossoms.

Eriol sighed and slumped against the tree. "You really did it this time, Ruby-san."

Ruby tried a small smile, and when Eriol didn't launch into a rant about how one must maintain a proper semblance of dignity and solemnity while one is being rebuked, she smiled a little bigger. "Oh, how so, Eriol-kun?" She caught his raised eyebrow and quickly amended, "Eriol-san." Obviously he wasn't in a good enough humor to permit the typical familiarity.

He groaned. He buried his face in his hands, and even Spinel leaned forward to hear his muffled words, "Poor Tomo- _Daidouji-san _hasn't been able to go anywhere today without someone bringing up that poem. Sensei-san even used it as an example in Literature class today, along with that other…_abomination_."

Ruby clapped her hands with delight. "Hoe! You mean as an example so others can aspire to write like me?!"

Eriol had to chuckle a little. "No. As the example of how _not_ to do something."

Ruby pouted. "That's not very nice!"

Eriol frowned. "What you did to Sakura-san and Daidouji-san wasn't particularly kind."

"No, what I did to Sakura-chan and _Tomoyo_-kun wasn't particularly kind," Ruby corrected. _She_ frowned. "Though I still think it was cute." Eriol frowned more deeply and began to respond, so Ruby hurriedly cut him off. "Though of course I won't do _that_ again."

Something about the way she said 'that' made Eriol peer at Ruby suspiciously. She grinned at him. Spinel rolled his eyes.

"Oh dear. She's planning something. What are you planning, Ruby-san?"

"Who me?" Ruby looked up with a mock-hurt expression. "How you wound me with such unwarranted attacks!"

Eriol snorted. "Unwarranted my –"

The bell rang.

"Oh no, I'm late!" Ruby squealed. Before Spinel could move, she grabbed the small guardian and stuffed him in her purse. She flashed a smile at the bemused Eriol. "Don't worry, Eriol-kun! I'll do better next time, I promise!" She hurried to the high school, leaving Eriol no time to respond. Eriol stared at Ruby's retreating back incredulously.

"'Don't worry'?! When she says that, I can't _help_ but worry!"

oOoOoOoOoOo

Spinel was reading the latest edition of the Tomoeda Times, trying to relax after a harrowing afternoon spent bouncing around in Ruby's crowded (and smelly…!) purse, and drinking his customary evening cup of coffee (black) when Ruby clattered into the kitchen, dark eyes bright with excitement.

She impatiently pushed her bangs out of her face and said, "Suppie-chan, do you know where the phonebook is?"

Spinel looked up from his paper with mild curiosity. "Whatever could you possibly need the phonebook for?"

Ruby rolled her eyes. "Just tell me."

"Over there." Spinel returned his gaze to the newspaper and waved his tail in the direction of the cabinet beside the refrigerator. "Put it back when you're done."

"Hai!"

Ruby rifled through the pile of take-out menus and old junk mail. She extracted the rather dusty book from the bottom of the pile and dashed out of the kitchen with it clutched to her chest. Spinel listened to her crash up the steps to her room and shook his head. Ruby had no sense of grace whatsoever in her human form!

His eyes strayed to the cupboard Ruby had taken the phone book from. She'd left the door open.

Spinel's eye twitched. His claws needed the forgotten newspaper, itching to close the door. It shouldn't be left open. Mice and spiders and who-knew-what-else could crawl and ooze and slime its way into the cabinet and _infect_ everything with its dirty dirtiness.

Spinel sat for a full five minutes, just staring at the door, willing it to close. He was _not_ going to go over there and close it, no matter how much he wanted to. _He_ hadn't opened the door; _he_ should not have to close it. It was neither his job nor his responsibility to close it. He wouldn't, he wouldn't, he wouldn't…

A small draft blew into the kitchen. Gently, the breeze tickled up the first few sheaves of paper, shuffling them around slightly. One flyer draped itself across the bottom corner of the cupboard. It was going to fall in a few short seconds –

With a feral shriek, Spinel dashed to the cupboard. He slapped the page inside and slammed the door shut. He zoomed to Ruby's room, fully intent on giving her a piece of his mind, when he stopped.

Ruby was clutching a telephone receiver to her ear, the phonebook highlighted and dog-earred in front of her. Spinel's manners gripped him by the ear, and he hovered by Ruby's door, politely waiting for her to finish her call before he yelled at her. With his excellent hearing, Spinel could hear the faint ringing on the other line. After three more rings, a little boy answered.

"Moshi moshi, Kinomoto residence."

Ruby grinned and slammed the phone onto the cradle. She looked up and saw Spinel staring at her. "Oh hi, Suppie-chan!"

"What the- Who was- Why in the-" Spinel spluttered, poleaxed by the telephone menace just sitting there and smiling like there was nothing wrong. "Hell!"

Ruby tsked, shaking her finger at him. "We mustn't say that naughty word, Suppie-chan!" She ruined the scolding by giggling.

Spinel flew to Ruby and whacked her head. "Ow! Hey! What was that for?"

"That was for your terrible phone etiquette!" Spinel snarled. He started to float away, but remembered something. He darted back and slapped the other side of her head. "And _that_ was for leaving the cabinet door open downstairs."

Ruby clutched her head, tears welling up in her eyes. "Okay, okay, I get it! Sor-_ry_… Hey, do you want to help?" She gestured at the telephone and the book with her elbow.

Spinel, despite his annoyance, was still curious. "Alright." He landed on the open book and scanned the column of names. "Khao…Kinta…Kinomoto?" Spinel rolled his eyes. "I should've guessed." He looked at the names again, and his eyes grew wide. "I didn't know there were that many Kinomoto's in _Japan_, let alone Tomoeda!" The first ten or so listings under "Kinomoto" had been marked with a bright pink highlighter. "What's all this about?"

Ruby grinned and reached for the book. "I highlight the names that I call and aren't Sakura-chan's house, so I can keep track. There are still three names left. Do you want to call one?"

Spinel sniffed and eyed the phone as if it would reach up and bite him. "You want me to call some poor, innocent soul, see if it's Kinomoto-san's house, and whether or not it is or isn't, just hang up on them. No. I won't do it."

"Please?" Ruby made puppy eyes. "Pwetty pwease?"

Spinel took one look at her face and caved. "Fine. I'll do it. But pay attention; I'll only do this once!"

"Yay! Arigatou, Suppie-chan!" Ruby snatched Spinel from the air and squeezed him. "Arigatou!"

"Can't…breathe…!"

"Oh, sorry!" Ruby released the hapless creature and allowed him to sink onto her nauseatingly pink bedspread. "Call, call!"

Spinel glared at Ruby and began dialing the next number on the list, muttering under his breath. Ring ring… Ring ring… Ring ring… Ring –

"Moshi moshi, Kinomoto residence."

It was a young girl who picked up, a girl whose voice reminded people of cotton candy and baby laughter – a voice very familiar to the group.

Spinel froze.

He couldn't say anything. His mouth just wouldn't move. He frantically pushed air out with his diaphragm and a strangled squeak emerged.

"Hoe? Hello?"

Hello. She said 'hello'. He knew 'hello'. Didn't he? "Hello!"

"… This is Sakura…?"

"Hai! Sakura-san!" More words he knew. This wasn't so hard. He could do this!

"Tomoyo-chan? Is that you?"

"…No!"

"Um, did you need someone here… Or want to sell me something… Or something?"

In the part of his brain that was still working despite the debilitating paralysis, Spinel rolled his eyes (mentally, of course). Only Sakura-san would actually _invite_ telemarketers to stay on the line longer.

"No."

"Um, so…"

Ruby grabbed the phone from a frozen Spinel's paw. "I'm terribly sorry, ma'am, but this is the wrong number. Otaku-san loves to dial the telephone, doesn't he?" she cooed at Spinel, but he was still too frozen to respond. "Otaku-san is getting a little feeble-minded in his old age," she continued, twirling a piece of hair around her finger. "He just dials whatever number pops into his old, liver-spotted head, and doesn't think twice! Why, just last month, the phone company charged us for three calls to Russia! Can you believe it? Trying to swindle an old man out of his last savings, there's no honor left in this world, I tell you. Again, I apologize for Otaku-san. Good night, and blessings on you and your progeny!" Ruby hung up and grinned at a now-animated and livid Spinel.

"What?"

"'Liver-spotted'?" Spinel shrieked. "'Feeble-minded'?!"

Ruby rolled her eyes and huffed at the drama-king. "Look, I had to come up with a story fast and that was the first one I thought of, okay?"

"'Feeble-minded'?!"

"I think it's time for someone's nap, don't you, Otaku-san?" Ruby sing-songed mockingly.

"I help you and _this_ is the thanks I get?!"

"Hey, I saved your butt! I never thought the perfect, oh-so-polite Suppie-chan would freeze up on a phone call, otherwise I never would've let you do it!"

"Oh, well, I, that is…" Spinel trailed off and looked properly ashamed. "Well, now you know. I hate calling people. I hate bad phone manners, but I'm not one iota better."

Ruby smiled fondly and kissed the top of his head. "It's okay. I'm not mad. Sleep well."

Spinel yawned and floated away, his head still drooping a bit from his newly-discovered shame. "Yes, good night."

Ruby waited until Spinel was out of the room before putting a giant green star beside Sakura's phone number. She made sure the page was dog-earred, too, and heaved a stack of pages to the side to get to the D's. She grinned like a cat with a canary. It was going to be a long – but oh-so-fun – night!


End file.
